Pain

It's not a topic people like talking about. It's not a topic people like having, but I do. Constantly. On April 24th, I got a migraine headache and it didn't go away as it usually does with the right medicine. I ran out of my migraine medicine and my insurance company decided they were no longer filling this medicine, they would only fill the generic. I couldn't take the generic because it has gluten in it and I'm allergic....I was at a bypass. What do you do when your head is hurting, you are newly married, and you need medicine that cost close to $1000? Well, you take the generic that has gluten and just suffer those consequences.

Fast forward 9 months. I have seen a pain specialist, two neurologist, a chiropractor, two different physical therapist, and my GP. I have tried exercise, acupuncture, dry needling, and now Botox. All of which haven't helped much. I have kept journals of my eating habits and my daily water intake....trying to find a cause. But nothing. Radio silence. My head just keeps hurting. 

When you live with pain everyday you don't realize how much it steals from you. I haven't seen the beauty in Scott and my first year of marriage or enjoyed living downtown. I don't enjoy going out because I know at any minute my head or neck pain can get worse and I have no idea how long it will take us to get home. 

At church yesterday a man in our Sunday School Class spoke about a year in his life (about a decade ago) when he was in chronic pain. Somehow someone figured out what was wrong with him and he is fine now. He said how during that year he became a recluse because it was so hard to deal with the pain and deal with putting on a front to see others. I envy him. I want to be able to look back at these 9 months and say, "Wow, that was terrible, but I got through it." Right now, I feel helpless and hopeless. Since 9 AM I have been waiting for the neurologist to call me back. That's 8 hours if anyone is wondering. He hasn't. I need some solution before I go crazy from this intense daily pain. I need someone to care enough to help me figure this out.